Wakad the next Heathrow !!

Well  i am so bored that im writing a blog of this signifance. Beleive it or not the Great Wakad Bridge has always amused me with its consistent performance in slowing down people's speed both in commuting and thinking. This first time i took off on the bridge was on 1st November . Not that i relish the memory and have made a note in dairy, it was the date before i joined credit suisse. I think i do want to rember that dat :P. With its width around the same as three to four people sleeping in a row it easily accomadates three cars almost mating each other ( the spell error was intentional). The scene in the bridge looks like the cheapest remake of Fast and Furious or Speed.  The bridge is around 700 mts long and is a piligrimage drive for most of them because it provides roti kapda and makan. The most common SUV that you see is the 25 seater tum tum ( i have no idea how the name was given probably the sound it makes when people touch each other inside it) almost challenging all laws of physics and creating new chemistry and biology. I only mean the liquids dopped  from the vehicle and ill health, no hidden menaing at all. To jointhis party there are these huge red boxed with tyre less tubes in the corners and a circluar thing to control them travelling at 60 degree angle with people performing live summer saults. Hopefully they add a caution line  " these are peformed by professional stunt passengers under naseeb supervision and do not immitate it at home or inside office".


Just to give a small statiscs of the vehicle movement and the petrol consumption you can try google search because i could not see it in the first page of the search result. I also wonder about the time importance people give while travelling in the bridge. Another factor that amuzes me is the speed at which people travel in the bridge, This should be a  a criteria in the appriasal under dedication and improvisation catogery. Such importance to time is given while using the bridge which people should have used to find job somewhere else.

Thank you for wasting two precious minutes of your life. Continue working

4th Floor West wing !!

The Big hall of Shame !







Welcome to the republic of corporate dramatics. Well ,This is surely not how it looks .. but certainly what happens. Thoughtless talks and wisdom less speech is the style on the floor and we are all part of this big party. Im really not sure which team i would like to start ,because all are equally hilarious to the best of their ability. So i would rather keep it general and detailed. Confusing ? then welcome to the language of bosses. The floor is occupied throughout the day either with people or person. There is some one throughout the day guarding the floor and making noises through the keyboard which by the way is the indication of the work done. So ideally the bell curve discussions are around the number of keyboard broken by an individual. All participate in this race. Oh yes there is something else which is a matter of appreciation in the Curve discussion.. Bell Curve i mean.. this is called the Indian School of bucketing .. no way im explaining this now .. that requires a blog of its own .. most of them who practice the law would have understood this by now and who do not would have skipped that line. I know you read it too .:) This technique is called ' Becoming One with the world .' There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. Im sure you don’t have to count this amongst those. These days are surely the best days that you forget easily unless you are brutally exploited. Returning back to the 4th floor West Wing, it is designed with random set of scenarios or circumstances which can easily make you uncomfortable. Well don bother though , it is just normal being uncomfortable on the floor. The Floor is designed in a way to depict the history of trading desks but more looks like a garment industry to me with tailoring machines on all the tables sometimes shared by more than one personality. They use the phrase HOT DESKING to fashionate this activity. Mostly because of the heat generated by the second half of the body by the individual throned in the fist hours. Very similar to that of pay & use facilities which we have in our streets. 4th floor west wing has several teams trying to confuse the others and the business successfully. All the hierarchy at different levels follow the mythology of Confuse if you cannot Convince. We are like the Pre-paid cards under post paid billing tariffs with a choice of validity. Some eventually change the service provider and some become life long validity. The management here make every one realize they are unique and discuss that there is nothing special in you. Well let me not THROW light on that keep my thoughts limited to the 4th Floor.


There are two important rooms visited often for relaxation. Some stand and some sit for a while. Its the breakout with the idiot boxes. It is often used for some special and some not so special occasions. I have seen it for Gossips ,expiry of people from the firm , pmc discussion, infrastructure issues and economic development of the per capita income, who is who of notice period , who is gone on fully paid trip to sign the will as worthy of that of Warren Buffet, and some petty issues are discussed for like 10 seconds which does not matter like Indian corruption, Tsunamis , Anna's fast and some children just not getting their education .. these can be ignored right . Well to go on .,.. we have some huge rooms accommodating a group of two individuals built for debating on UPSTREAM and DOWNSTREAM of the sculptures we architect. I wonder who came up with this concept .. Lucky guy got over it after bringing this up!!! The rooms are all transparent so that there are no Kung -Fu and Martial arts displayed. The rooms gives an effect of the debate show in BBC. There is tatkal booking scheme available and influence quota is optional. The exchange of thoughts goes on for hours depending on the cab rostered for that day and usually ends with a conclusion of lets look into this first thing tommorow. Ya right !.




Oh! how did i forget to write about the gadgets we use. The capsule pcs invented mark the evolution of this floor and abacus has gifted the floor with his own systems. They support high speed gaming like solitaire and low speed applications. We use in our business as usual. The Mark Zuckerberg of our floor has gifted with a tremendous application for Business use only called the communicator allowing people to track the number of valuable hours the individual has been in the Barista outside our gate or the Windsor manor in the top.






I guess i should stop over here .. i have no idea why though !!

Deparado - A man with artificial intelligence ...

***PLESASE NOTE ALL CHARCTERS IN THE BLOG AND ANY RESEMBLENCE IS PURELY INTENTIONAL***

This Blog is a dedication to my close pals ( Rastogi,CId,Wolf and Dancer and the favourite of the hero of the blog Wat ya) who surprisingly share a common point of view when it comes to the hero of this blog ... Lemme not make it so easy by giving his name now ... and im sure it will not be difficult to guess at the end or if you are quite smart at the beginning of the blog ... the strange or the interesting part is that such individuals exists everywhere and are easily irritating and intolerable ... With wasting no more time I would now take you to jolly ride of human behavior of human beings who are with a blend of artificial intelligence .. and yes in the entire blog to follow i would refer to the guy as HE ..

HE is a master of wizards with artificial intelligence who has conquered the entire world of knowledge .There is nothing in this world which is unaware to him and unknown to him . The molecules and Atoms in the world move according to his predictions and calculations ..You would have now realized him to be Nostradamas ..But i believe Nostradamus would have been his follower ... Thee is an ideology of heroism and braveness which resembles the courage of Shatrapathi Shivaji ..
His intelligence would resemble that of Steven Hawkins and would make you wonder the wisdom he possess. Its really miracle in disguise to witness something in this current race of time .How exciting it would ave been if all te tings just said would ave been true.
To continue to sing his glory of legendry stupidity which is the main apporoach of this blog i would now try and link his greatness to the day to day life for you to connect with him well. But not promising this connection to last long . By not touching the personal life of the hero I will try and limit it to his Work life imbalance...

Everyone working in an organization aims at growing in the company to enjoy greater pleasures of life.But wat really matters is how you grow. Our hero is one such individual who is known for his 'Yes to boss ability ' (bucketting ) ability grown in excellence trying to accomplish the impossible. To talk more thatn on this, our hero has dedicated in the undivided service of the boss .. doesn’t really matter if it sending mails on is behalf or waiting in the parking lot for hours for the serviced car of his boss to be delivered. Now that’s called service at excellence. He is accepted the fact the impressing boss is the universal truth and will be undivided to it. How can i forget his bringing of Chai and kurkure from canteen just for his boss to give him a grim .Not stopping at this he also regularly accomplishes the task of taking them for dinner at Rumali or a drink (not sure why ) even though does not spend a penny on himself ... He should seriously think about this and atleast buy a nice deodorant. How about all of ur reading his gifting him the same in abundance .. Anyway not deviating from the topic ..This ability of his can also be measured by the fact of calling his boss for approval to see all the Work ( nice objectives i believe ) he does .may it be deleting an email to calling a facility to switch on the Air conditioner . He makes sure everything is noticed. Not stopping at this he has also learnt that impressing boss does not mean only your immediate manger but also should be focusing on next levels as well. Apart from doing all the work with a little bit of extra class and Quality ( i ony meant price here) he does all the above mentioned activities for them as well. Democracy redefined .. He lives for the boss.. with the boss .. to the boss (not sure what i meant) ..

Without wasting anymore time lets now see his ability of think and act ...Oops this is not applicable ...our hero has never done it in his entire life ....

Oh yes but i surely wanna talk about this unique skill which i still wonder
what name wren n martin would have given ..I would call it the 'Only I know and you dont know ' ability . This is an unique talent which gives the hero to argue with any one about anything and not realizing how irrelevant was. The unique technology used here is to grab a word from a sentence you speak and give a lecture on its advantages and disadvantages. Say for instances you speak about the title of a movie which is yet to be released he would tell you the entire script of the movie ( PLEASE NOTE ALL PRODUCERS AND MOVIE MAERS ARE EITHER NOWN TO HIM OR HIS RELATIVES WWHO ARE MP AND MININSTERS IN LAW AND ADMINISTRATION) and as always when the movie releases and you laugh about the different version of the movie hw woud stil convince you by telling the news he heard in his tata sky double plus channel about the movie being changed in the last m inute .... WWOW ...

Last but not the least , we will now be enlightened about one more special art of ' This is Nothing ' .This is a technology which is used to describe your wealth of stupidity and foolishness.. What exactly you do is this .. if any one tells you he just bought a latest Samsung Star 3g phone for 11 thousand.. just tel this " This is Nothing . you get the same phone in Delhi for 8 thousand ,... id someone tells you he had been to Jammu and Kashmir.. Just tell him ' This is nothing and you had ben to Switzerland 'Lie he is going to ask for the ticket ..and even if he does use the ' I know and you dont know technology ' ...Someone tells you he can update 3000 lines of commission manually in a day ... tell him 'This is nothing i have updated 10000 in 2 hours and just use the technology of it got deleted yesterday .... Please not that all these observations were made through continuous research and jobless group above mentioned in the intial lines of the blog ..

Thank you guys for the time... and please leave your comments and feedback for me to add more blogs on similar topics to have fun ... Oh yes I have just covered the introduction about the hero .. Let me now if you want the entire book ...